Parenting in transition: From upbringing to relationship
- Johanna
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
Children thrive when they experience security, belonging, and loving feedback. Modern developmental psychology shows stable attachments form the basis for emotional regulation, resilience, empathy, and self-compassion. This creates a strong emotional foundation that strengthens children from within.
Parenting has changed. Shifting societies, family structures, and evolving parenting practices shape how we raise children today.
Parenthood is now seen as a relationship, not control.
Parents guide children with shared understanding, co-regulation, and mutual growth.
Children are not seen as objects to be molded. They are independent personalities with their own needs, feelings, and a voice that deserves to be heard.
This development strengthens children emotionally and neurobiologically. Security and well-being foster self-efficacy and inner strength. The shift towards greater closeness, compassion, and openness is an encouraging sign. Parenthood today is practiced more consciously, humanely, and with a greater focus on connection.
In this blog, you will learn more about the latest developments in modern parenting, relationship building, and why co-regulation is considered one of the most important protective factors for the mental health of our children today.
From obedience to equality
Many of today's parents were themselves raised in an authoritarian manner. Strictness, discipline, and little say in family matters were long taken for granted. According to the Pronova BKK Family Study 2025, 60 percent of parents report being rarely involved in decisions when they were younger.
Today, a different trend is emerging:
More than half of parents set rules and boundaries together with their children.
Punishments are replaced by discussions and negotiations; cooperation and respect are central.
International research also clearly shows that democratic, approachable, and clear parenting styles promote a sense of responsibility, better emotion regulation, and social skills in children.
New values: responsibility, empathy, and self-determination
Today, families benefit from increased security, broader psychological insight, and better social conditions, enabling parents to consciously choose what values they want to pass on. In contrast, previous generations were driven by hardship and obligation; now, inner strength, empathy, and self-determination are prioritized.
This change allows for a new perspective:
Children are recognized as individuals with needs, feelings, and genuine rights to participate.
Many parents of younger generations place great importance on joy, lightness, and meaning for their children. This is balanced with boundaries, responsibility, and safety.
Parenting in this context is not control. Co-regulation means parents help children sort out feelings, manage overwhelm, and build lasting inner stability.
Studies show that children raised in an environment of appreciation and emotional security develop resilience, display fewer behavioral problems, and build stronger social connections. Their decisions are then guided by inner conviction rather than fear of punishment.
Current trends confirm this shift in values. Parents today place more emphasis on tolerance, equality, and sustainability. They want to guide their children to become open-minded, responsible individuals who can act confidently in a complex world.
Parents also benefit. Dialogue and cooperation reduce power struggles and strengthen relationships. Research links participatory parenting to greater life satisfaction and more stable relationships.
Parenthood today is a shared journey where parents and children grow together, embracing feelings, mistakes, and learning.
Parents caught between ideals, expectations, and exhaustion
Parenting today is conscious, reflective, and strongly influenced by relationships. Yet it is more challenging than ever. Social media, constant comparison, and an overabundance of advice make many parents feel the need to be ever-present, informed, and emotionally stable. The expectation to perform all roles at once creates pressure felt in daily life.
Pressure arises not only externally. Internal expectations, like the urge to be patient, maintain control, and perfectly balance work, household, and family, can feel heavy. Parents striving to give their children the best may forget that good enough is enough. This self-criticism and overwhelm quickly lead to exhaustion.
The Pronova BKK study shows:
Sixty percent of parents regularly wish for a break. About half regularly doubt their parenting skills. Many feel exhausted at times.
Mothers often feel most overwhelmed, caught between ideals and reality.
At the same time, there is an open discussion about stress, an important step towards greater awareness and support.
Research shows self-compassion protects against chronic stress. Social support from partnerships, families, and networks is also an effective protective factor for mental health.
Parents who are kind to themselves are more patient and sensitive to their children. Children observe how parents treat themselves, absorbing either self-judgment or self-acceptance. This parental attitude shapes children's self-esteem and inner security over time.
The understanding of roles is changing: step by step
Gender roles within families are also changing:
Today, fathers more often take on active care work, share responsibility, and shape outcomes—not just provide support.
Mothers still do most of the care work.
Both parents now invest more time in direct attention, play, and emotional interaction with their children.
Research shows that present and emotionally available mothers and fathers make a significant contribution to children's social competence and emotional stability.
Shared responsibility offers relief, understanding, and stronger bonds. This change is gradual. Each decision to share care work builds a healthier, more equitable family culture. Progress shows in daily routines, small moments, honest conversations, and mutual growth.
An overview of the generations
© Mylittlesprout
Conclusion
Parenting is changing: from control to relationship, from rigid structures to shared development. Children need guidance, security, and clear boundaries—not perfection or rigid control.
Children need parents who grow with them. When parents model connection, empathy, dialogue, and self-compassion, they build an emotionally stable foundation that helps children face a complex world. Parents can also learn, make mistakes, reassess, rest, and accept support.
Parenting becomes a shared journey of closeness, trust, and growth for both children and parents.
As of 11/2025
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